“I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!”
Please forgo the image of a gigantic Will Farrell, dressed as an elf, dancing around in the office of a Manhattan building. Instead, think of a girl, slightly smaller, in heels, sitting in the studio of a small radio station in Waco. Not as whimsical, but just as effective.
My name is Jess. And I’m in love.
Those words feel weird coming out of my mouth. Similar to when a dentist shoots you up with Novocaine and then proceeds to ask you a bunch of questions… Of course, none of them requiring a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. Yet, needless to say, I am in love.
You see, if you would have asked me as a child what I thought my relationship status would be at this point in my life, I would have given you the Miss America response of: “I want to be on my way down the aisle and getting ready to start a family. ”
And I believed it would happen.
I thought that was how life went. You grow up, you go to college, you get married and you start a family. That was until I got to college.
Fast forward a bit and ask me the same question a mere five years ago. The answer would have been ‘single.’ In fact, it would have been ‘happily single.’ Dating was not on my radar. I had come from a small high school and was ready to embark on the college journey.
Well… let me rephrase that.
I was ready to play softball. However, when that failed I turned to a career in radio broadcasting. Still not thinking about dating or marriage. In my opinion, you had to choose: relationship or career. You either had to pursue that career with no intention of settling down until you found your destination. Or you had to drop your dreams of a career to seek out a mate and then settle for a lesser career.
I still had these thoughts during the six months that I lived in New York City. If anything, these thoughts were exacerbated. I saw the most magnificent version of my career in that city. I was single in the Big Apple and unlike Carrie and the girls in “Sex and the City”, I liked it that way.
I came back to Waco with a burning passion for my job. I was given my own show and I was going to do it all on my own.
And then he showed up.
Talk about getting the wind knocked out of you. I was terrified of falling for this man that I had known for so long, but felt as if I was meeting him all over again for the first time. A few months into our relationship, I found the air filling my lungs again. I began to breathe with ease and this relationship became a part of me.
It went completely against everything I believed in with love. People don’t fall in love that quickly. It takes years to fall in love. I used to warn people of using the “L” word too quickly and at young ages. There was no way I was in love.
It was then that I realized it was not, “there was no way” but instead, “how could I not be?”
This man loves my career, my passion, my drive, my everything. And even more so, he wants to see me succeed in it all. He wants me to be a professional radio personality on an international level. He wants me to be the greatest wife, and the greatest mom. He wants me to go and do and see and be and…
He wants me to be… me.
It would be stupid not to love this man… Because he wants the world, and the stars, and the moon for me. And just like George Bailey, I believe he would lasso them all down for me in a heartbeat.
This is what makes me dance. This is what makes me feel invincible.
This is love.