Let’s be real, the holiday season isn’t all laughs and giggles. There are always those things that just get under your skin. Well, here are the ten things that make my holidays a little less holly and jolly.
1. Christmas Music: Yeah, yeah… let me hear it. You’re such a scrooge! But truth be told I’m not a Christmas music fan. Why in the world would I want to hear 60 different versions of Frosty the Snowman? Now this becomes problematic for someone who works at a radio station that prides itself in being “The Christmas Station” during the holidays. You know what that means? Christmas music 24 hours a day, seven days a week, four weeks out of the year. That’s 11,520 Christmas songs… she said, as strands of her hair fell gently to the floor.
2. Clay-mation Christmas Movies: They may be classics, but these movies just freak me out.
3. Snot-nosed Kids: You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones who got sick and their parents still chose to take them out. Nothing better than strolling through the grocery store only to see about 12 kids wiping their noses and then playing catch with the produce. Whelp, so much for making my famous fruit cake this year. Or how about getting in line at the register and little Timmy decides to share a little extra Christmas cheer, showering you with a scrumptious sneeze.
4. Wind: Cold weather usually means a cold wind. Now, I hate wind on a regular basis but that pins-and-needles-arctic-chill wind is the worst. You can’t stop the wind. This may be the biggest problem I have with it because I always have to have control. It’s a weird dominance thing. Nevertheless… umbrellas stop rain and a heavy jacket can stop snow however, wind comes out of nowhere and there’s no way to stop it. And to top it off, it flings you hair everywhere (forget volume and curl) and it dries your face out (can you say facial shingles?).
5. The Typical Holiday Shopper: I. Hate. Shopping. The casual browser doesn’t make this any easier on me. I think the biggest reason I can’t stand shopping is because there are too many choices out there. I hate having to decide. But put 17 women in one aisle just standing there staring at the same product while their kids successfully de-shelve everything behind them, and Jessica might go a little Incredible Hulk on you.
6. Holiday Drivers: People tend to shop alone during the holiday season. This means a high concentration of cars out on the road, but it also means that those people who normally don’t drive, are suddenly out driving. I’ve learned that there is a very good reason why these people aren’t out driving on a regular basis… they’re AWFUL! Let’s just make a list of the things I’ve seen lately: speeding, swerving, moving at a glacial pace, stopping too long at a stop sign, not stopping at all, backing out of a parking spot without looking, taking too long to find a parking spot, parking too closely to Mitch, parking in front of the store to just “run in,” or my newest favorite… parking in the store. I’d like to pin point specific people who do this, but this time of year it’s everyone.
7. Crowds: Not much to say here. I enjoy my space and alone time. Crowds and I don’t mix.
8. Glass Christmas Lights: This is the first year I decorated my house for Christmas since living on my own. I absolutely love Christmas lights! So, I was ecstatic to buy some. I rushed home and had the box open well before I pulled into the drive. I frantically jumped out of my car, threw my purse on the counter and rushed back outside to hang them. I flung them across the drive to untangle them and… CRASH! I turned around in sheer terror to see my precious globes laying shattered and disheveled on the pavement. Needless to say, in remembrance of the fallen, I gave myself a few days before I bought more.
9. Marshmallow Puff Jackets: If I wanted to see the Marshmallow Puff Man, I’d pop in Ghostbusters. I’m sure they’re cozy, but this is Central Texas… it does not get that cold here. I also don’t think that people wearing these oversized, bumper jackets eases the crowd issue.
10. Uggs: Need I say more?
Now people, do me a favor and help ease the stress this holiday season. Don’t contribute to this madness.