Womanus Modernus

Lady Guinevere and Sleeping Beauty had it so easy. I mean, come on. All they had to do to get a man was sit on their royal booties, or sleep for that matter, and wait for a man to come get them. It was the ultimate story of pursuit and courtship; the ultimate sign of true love. Now fast forward to 2010.

It sucks.

I had a conversation the other day with a friend about relationships. I told him that I’m the old-fashioned type and my type of guy must have the cojones to step up and say something if he’s interested. He then told me that he was the complete opposite and that makes him “modern.”


Since when do we live in a world where the men want to be pursued? I understand that a guy wants to feel wanted and that it can be extremely nerve-racking to approach a girl and ask her out. However, I’ve always thought that a man feels more like a man when they are doing just that. It’s kind of like they are providing and being the leader. You know, setting the stage early on.

If that wasn’t enough, I had a conversation with another guy and when asked if I wanted to be in a relationship right now, I told him that whether I was with someone or not, I was happy. I also said that I enjoy playing the field. He responded with “I didn’t know you were such a modern woman.”

Modern woman?

This threw me off. Both of those conversations have led me to believe that a “modern” woman is… well… a man.

And since when did a woman acting like a man become attractive? Confidence goes a long way and most men find a confident girl sexy, but is an overly aggressive woman really that appealing?

Now, I’ll be honest, I get along better with guys. I grew up with brothers and I’m a complete sports fanatic. To me, they are so much easier to hang out with than girls. Less drama. However, I have always been ridiculed for being “one of the guys.” Guys constantly throw me in the friends zone and girls think I’m desperate. It’s not a pretty situation.

So, question at hand, why would pursuing a guy be considered modern or attractive?

Despite my head being in a complete fog with all of this, I have come to the conclusion that guys get tired of doing all the work. It can be fairly awkward to approach someone like that and if you’re rejected numerous times then it would become almost unbearable.

Now, I am the most anti-feminist feminist… and no, that’s not a typo. I’m not one to step out and preach that women should rule the world just because we never have in the past and that’s considered sexist. However, I’m all for women showing up the boys… if they can.

Like I said, I grew up with older brothers. I learned a thing or two about standing up for yourself. If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t eat. Ok, maybe a little extreme, but are we seeing a correlation here?

Nonetheless, despite the laziness and lack of cojones that is our male population, this is the world we live in.

So ladies, stand up for yourself when necessary. Don’t pick a fight or play the sexist card because you think you’re entitled to as a woman. You’re not. Fight for what you believe in, but also know that strength comes from taking a back seat too. I mean, heaven forbid you get swept off your feet.

And guys… be men! Get over your insecurities or fear of rejection when it comes to women. Leave the past in the past and a make a move. It’s sexy… when done in a non-creepy nor “hey-baby-what’s-yo-sign” kind of way.

This whole “modern” woman jazz is bogus. Don’t put a label on something like that, nor ridicule those who don’t play along. Call it old-fashioned or whatever, but this little guppy prefers to be pursued. To me, a real man makes a move, and a real woman is not afraid to let her guard down and be doted on.

Let’s just call that life…


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